Heart t' Heart

[Penny]

THE RESULT OF THIS TOTAL HUMILITY P. 97
PennyM: What happens when we are finally willing to admit that only God has the power and only God deserves the glory for our redemption; when we finally stop trying to fix ourselves and turn our lives, weaknesses and all, over to Him? Listen to the very promise of God Himself, implicit in His charge to us to “harden not [our] hearts against the Lamb of God” (1 Nephi 14:2):

He shall manifest himself unto them in word, and also in power, in very deed, unto the taking away of their stumbling blocks. (1 Nephi 14:1; emphasis added

PennyM: What does it mean to have Christ manifest Himself unto us in (1) word, (2) power and (3) in very deed? I believe it means that (1) we will begin to hear His words in personal revelation to teach us our weaknesses; (2) we will be given His power to transform these weaknesses into strengths; and (3) we will see the effect of this change in our inner self in the “very deed[s]” of our lives. (Ether 12:27)

The changing of our deeds will be an automatic result of the first two portions of this process:
(1) receiving His word— Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good (Alma 37:37)
(2) receiving His power— And again, if ye by the grace of God are perfect in Christ, and deny not his power , then are ye become holy, without spot. (Moroni 10:33)

In fact, through this process we can come to the place that we can “shake at the appearance of sin,” the very sin that we once embraced.

O Lord, wilt thou redeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of sin? (2 Nephi 4:31)

This change of character, inclination—our very neuropathways—that causes us to “shake at the appearance of sin” is a gift from God. On our own, the best we can accomplish is a sort of “white knuckle,” uptight feeling of resistance to our desire to sin. The fact is that internally, nothing has been changed, and we still want to “do it” (whatever our sin is) just one more time. This state of constant struggle is not the best we can hope for. Life was not meant to be a long, slow, torturous journey of constant tension, fear and guilt. A God-given remission of sins (in contrast to a self-imposed, self-powered effort) brings periods of unspeakable peace and comfort, best described as the “rest of the Lord.”
12/22/2009 6:47 am (mt) PennyM: Therefore, whosoever repenteth, and hardeneth not his heart, he shall have claim on mercy through mine Only Begotten Son, unto a remission of his sins; and these shall enter into my rest. (Alma 12:34)

Many people interpret the expression “enter into my rest” as a promise of heaven after we die. It is not the Lord’s will, however, that we must wait until death to receive Him and His peace. Listen to His promise of the coming of “heaven” within you, right here and now, as soon as you have transferred your hope to Him:

Wherefore I would speak unto…the peaceable followers of Christ, [ye who] have obtained a sufficient hope by which ye can enter into the rest of the Lord, from this time henceforth. (Moroni 7:3; emphasis added)
12/22/2009 6:48 am (mt) PennyM: THAT CONCLUDES OUR READING FOR TODAY I will share, then we will open the meeting for general sharing.

I have had quite an emotional time since a week ago Sunday. There was one thing I asked of my son who was released from his mission on December 2 before he left his mission. That was for him to come and visit me in my environment.

He chose to never do visitation with me after I separated from his father when he was 16. He was the only one who stayed with his father
We developed a relationship again while he was on his mission. Plans were made from him to come here. He canceled them last Sunday.

I am so in need of this total humility. It took a week of prayer for comfort and only feeling there was something more I needed to do for me to become humble enough to let go of my way in this. My family and I are leaving tomorrow to go visit him
I need to see my son. It also gives our family some time to visit my husband's extended family.

I'm still disappointed that after all of the changes he made on his mission he still is having a hard time visiting me. Yet, I am once again willing to place this in the Lord's hands. The Lord guided me then. He will do so now.
12/22/2009 6:56 am (mt) PennyM: then meaning when Dustin was a teen.
12/22/2009 6:58 am (mt) PennyM: I'm grateful that the Lord still guides me even if I follow kicking and screaming along the way.