Heart t' Heart

[Colleen Barton]

Jarom 1:12 ...continually stirring them up unto repentance." Are you ashamed that you have to be stirred up unto repentance over and over again? Did God make allowances for us to be human and to be able to repent often? Why? By what means?

Well I've certainly been human enough today and stirred up to repentance. He said as often as my people repent will I forgive them. The atonement of Jesus Christ makes this possible. I have to consider that God has been here. He knows that I am a sinner and ever will be without a Savior. He knew that I would not be perfect. He gave Adam and Eve two commandments that condradicted each other. He knew they would break one or the other. Either way, He provided a Savior. I do not know the personal cost it was for our Father. I do know He loves me and trusts me to receive this gift.

True repentance means never doing it again... True repentance means never doing it again...True repentance means never doing it again...

So how do I reconcile myself to this mantra that keeps drilling in my head? I am a non delivered addict. My compulsions and addictions are still in tact. What the Lord seems to be doing me is deliveriing me from the inside out. My charater weakinesses are changing. I am finding myself less self-piteous, less self-willed. I have a greater desire to turn to the Lord and not away from Him. I trust someday I will be delivered form the many thorns in my flesh. I hope for a mighty change in my heart as far as some of my attitudes go.

I don't know what else to say. I'm distracted by choices pulling in my heart that would have me choose an easier path verses continuing in this one that seems hard but right. I feel like I"m not making much sense and that my journey is precarious at the moment, but still, I am doing this because I turned to Jesus, not turned away. For this I am grateful CB