Heart t' Heart

[Jeff_L]

In the past, I wondered how could I have both anxiety and depression - they seem opposite? Anxiety seems to be: having too much energy; depression seemed to be: having too little energy.

I am now seeing anxiety and depression as two sides of the same coin. The coin of my not seeing life for what it is. Anxiety is fear. It is fear not used for its intended purpose - fight or flight. When I encounter a real threat, I can choose to stand up to it (fight) or run away from it (flight). One factor in my depression is believing that any action that I take will not improve my life and therefore not taking any action. So, I will over simplify and say that depression is discouragement. It maybe comes from or is certainly encouraged by the belief that I cannot do anything to improve my life.

Now when I am not productive or not feeling well, I try to remember to notice the sensations in my body, breathe into them, name them, honor them, allow my breath to be big and relaxed enough to fill all parts of my body fully feeling and experiencing the sensations. I find that I learn from the process. My emotions become my greatest teachers.

Fear with breath becomes excitement (thank you Fritz Pearls who said, "Fear is excitement without the breath"). I am able to use energy that is fear to do what is needed. Depression becomes a lack of emotion - a withdrawal from life so I don't have to feel. It makes sense to me that I would choose not to feel fear and sadness.

When I see life for what it is, I see God's hand in it. He gives me experiences to learn, to grow and to have joy. I can have a lot more fun by accepting fear, sadness, what happens to me and how I respond to live. I can laugh at myself for not making "perfect" choices. Really, anytime I make a choice and take an action, I have the opportunity to experience life and have fun as I learn from it.

God is Good! It is good to hurt, it is good to fall down. It is good to get up. It is good to learn. It is good to have fun with it along the bumpy, tearful painful way.

[cognitions]

Hey Jeff,
I was just looking through the forums and found your post and it got my attention because I have those some symptoms, I think that in my case I would get anxiety from being around people, having the fear of letting them down and when I would do one thing that wasnt perfect it would lead me down to depression which would continue in a viscous cycle. I was on meds and seeing prof. help. I can now say I am very happy, without meds or counseling!! Anyway I have found the book that has helped me out so much completely turned my life around.
http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-Therapy-Revised-Updated/dp/0380810336