Heart t' Heart

[TimA.]

I was thinking about the rich young ruler that Jesus told to sell all he had and give it to the poor and follow Him. He could not do it and went away sorrowing. I think maybe in a way that is easier than having an addiction. He could only do that once and could not do it again because all his wealth would be gone. With an addiction you have to make perhaps what is the most difficult sacrafice every day, sometimes every hour or minute.

I have been told that something can take the place of that desire and fill that lonely void but I have never been able to access it. And I have tried again and again but it still hurts and my addiction is the only thing that eases the pain. Yet the addiction leads to eternal damantion after this life. Why oh why would the Lord of love leave a creature in such a hell?

I have been told that talking like this is just self pity and it is And I should feel guilt and shame for it too and I do but the pain is still there, the loneliness is still there and the shame and guilt over it all is still there. I am completely responsible for being in this hell and I am completely powerless to get out of it.

Tim

[PhilH]

Tim,

I don't think it helps us to indulge in guilt and shame over our self-pity any more than it helps us to indulge in guilt and shame over any of our other addictions. The only reason it helps us to identify our problems and addictions is so we can take them to the Savior and seek his grace is letting go of them. He himself said He would show us our weaknesses if we humble ourselves and come unto Him (Ether 12:27). For this reason I think it is important that we recognize self-pity as an addiction. We have to surrender it the Lord just like our other addictions.

The reason self-pity damns us (and it does) is because it keeps our attention firmly riveted on ourselves, thus keeping us from giving our full attention to the Lord, who is the only source of healing for all of our ills. The people I see getting recovery are those who pay the least attention to themselves, or even to their addiction, and focus their attention most on the Savior and their relationship with Him.

It's interesting that you mention the young rich ruler. If I remember the story right, he first asked the Savior what he should do to obtain eternal life. The Lord listed the commandments, which the young man said he followed since his youth. He then asked "What lack I yet?" The Savior gave him a reply tailored to the young man's specific weakness--his love of his wealth. I think this is the most important question each of us can take to the Savior: "What lack I yet?" And the reply He will give us, if we are willing to hear it, will be specific, and tailored to our specific weakness--maybe even one we are not focusing on at the moment. He will not simply say "Give up your addiction." He may say "Spend more time with me through the scriptures," or some other specific measure designed to bring us closer to Him. I think the greatest challenge I have is humbling myself and being willing to ask--because I know He will tell me--and then I have to face whether I am willing to receive the strength from Him to do whatever it is. The battle has always been inside of me, with my heart.

Phil

[TimA.]

" We have to surrender it the Lord just like our other addictions. "

What does that mean? I am not trying to be difficult I am asking as honestly as I know how. I do not understand what that means or how to do it.


"I think this is the most important question each of us can take to the Savior: "What lack I yet?" And the reply He will give us, if we are willing to hear it, will be specific, and tailored to our specific weakness--maybe even one we are not focusing on at the moment. He will not simply say "Give up your addiction." He may say "Spend more time with me through the scriptures," or some other specific measure designed to bring us closer to Him. "

Now that is something I never considered that the answer is not simply "Give up your addiction". All I have heard is if I dont over come I am damned. And knowing the fact I am powerless to overcome equals despair or has for me. To be honest when I pray I am not sure I have ever heard the voice of God speaking to me.

Tim

I think the greatest challenge I have is humbling myself and being willing to ask--because I know He will tell me--and then I have to face whether I am willing to receive the strength from Him to do whatever it is. The battle has always been inside of me, with my heart.

Phil

[Celeste]

Tim,
I have had times of feeling empty and seemingly cut off from contact with Jesus. Those are times I have fallen back on just believing what others tell me about Jesus. The others being those who are here sharing on the forum, the apostles, the prophet, the scriptures. I've had to use here and now things to get through just for today. Things like going to meetings, reading, watching TV, reading my email, deep breathing relaxation, etc. These are things which I am willing to do to make it through another day if I must. The willingness keeps me here and when my heart is softened by the abstinence I am ready to receive his comforting, understanding, wisdoms that I need. I don't necessarily hear words. It's more like I'm open to sudden thoughts which are surprising since it's not like me to think them (inspirations). I still have a long ways to go to take these inspirations and get them written down everytime I hear them. I still do not live consistently in the habit of scripture study and even in getting to my sabbath meetings.

I have however continued to show up here on Ht'H and am grateful it is here. If I can not hear the inspirations in my mind, I have found the inspirations given to others here have answered many of my questions. I read them and my heart lifts in my chest and I know they ring true for me. Many of the Ensign articles have that ring as well. I know that it is true for me that our trials here also give us love for one another and it is a learning/growing experience in helping one another and becoming one as Jesus and the Father are one.