This page deals with the issue of relationship addiction. You may have concerns about your own relationships, or those of someone you care about. Perhaps this letter, written by a member of Heart t’ Heart, can be the beginning for you in turning your relationships over to the Lord, Jesus Christ, who can heal them along with the rest of your life.
You may be wondering if you have a problem. You get into relationships you know are bad for you. When you aren’t in a relationship, you feel lost, empty, and very alone. You get caught up in the intensity and the promise of a new relationship and when the insanity starts to show itself, you are already hooked. Letting go and getting out seem next to impossible.
Addictive relationships start off like such a dream, a romance made in heaven. They move so quickly, practically sweeping you off your feet. With a lack of grounding it becomes easy to lose judgment, to rationalize doing all or some of the things you promised yourself you wouldn’t do. Boundaries become muddled and you lose track of where you end and where they begin. Your emotions get crazy and you can’t sort the anger from the guilt, the fear from the pain. You find yourself becoming obsessed, compelled, and crazy. You feel victimized on one hand, but vindictive on the other. You feel such a loss of self control, and self respect.
Towards the bottom you face what seems to be a no-win situation. Staying in the relationship will only prolong the insanity, but you face such despair in getting out. You were sure that this time was it, that it would finally work and the dream would come true. You can’t bear to end the dream, but can’t continue in the nightmare. The situation seems hopeless, but that isn’t completely true. What you are experiencing is powerlessness.
I speak from experience. I have endured the insanity of the relationships that I am describing. I had to reach my bottom before I could reach out and accept the solution that has not only saved my sanity and my life, but has given me hope, peace, and joy. I have found the answer within myself through the gospel of Jesus Christ and the help of Twelve Step programs. Through both of these divine truths I have been able to heal the core issues that placed me in a vulnerable position to begin with. I have also discovered and maintained the boundaries that will prevent me from losing myself in a relationship. I have found an incredible level of completeness and wholeness in myself as the result of inviting my Savior into my life.
The program of Heart t’ Heart and the book He Did Deliver Me From Bondage have blessed my life. The meetings and the book are tools that have guided my healing process in a unique way. They are built on the singularly most important aspect of my life, the gospel, and they have incorporated what I have found to be the next most powerful concepts of personal growth and progression, the twelve steps. I am finally in recovery for relationship addiction and I am so grateful for the experiences and the trials that I have experienced, because I know that without them I would not have come to the deep appreciation that I have for Christ’s atonement and what it means for me personally. I have eternal hope through Him that I am fully on my way to everything that I have ever really wanted and more.
I would love to hear from you and offer my experience, strength, and hope. You can e-mail by clicking here.